Christianity in particular and religion in general are of particular interest to me since I was raised in a Christian home, went into the ministry at age 16, did my undergrad and graduate studies in biblical studies (I graduated with my M.Div. from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY). About 5 years ago, I started seriously reconsidering my beliefs -- why I believed what I did and just WHAT I believed. Although I had been into apologetics since I was a teenager, I was simply not satisfied that many of my quesitons had been satisfactorily answered. I have always been a seeker and a kind of academic nut. While in seminary, I found myself studying archeology, ancient Near Eastern religions and, in particular, I focused quite a bit on the Genesis creation accounts and the Primeval History (Chs. 1-11) -- where they came from and how they were influenced by other ANE myths and stories. I swung to the left quite a bit, but a divorce caused me run back to my traditional roots (the psychological reasons for this we can discuss in another blog, perhaps). After I remarried, I went back into the pastoral ministry. For years and years, while pastoring sizable churches, certain questions continued to vex me. I felt silly giving stock (if yet still sophisticated) answers to my parishioners who also had similar questions. Finally, while still pastoring a 1st Baptist Church in Illinois, I decided to venture outside Christian books and articles (including those that "taught" about the "other side"...you know, those apologetics books that supposedly teach you about evolution, etc., but really only tell you part of the story, or distort it in some way). What I began to read (when I read with an open mind and honest intentions) astounded me. I couldn't get enough. I read many recent books on evolution, the human brain, cosmology (though that is a subject I had read on in the past), the historical Jesus, the evolution of the New Testament church, took several psychology courses from a local university, and on I could go. I found myself slowly but surely changing. The feeling it evoked in me was a mix of exhileration and trepidation; it was both thrilling and terrifying. Part of me wanted to run back to my traditions. Part of me knew I could never go back. The transformation from within was amazing. Since then, I continue to read, to seek. I am not an atheist, yet no longer am I a Christian either. I am glad to be where I'm at -- still seeking -- and paradoxically hope that I will never feel I have captured the truth; for, truth is not something to be grasped, but sought after.